Friday, January 29, 2010

I need you to relax, kiddo

Last week, could of not been any longer.  There were ups and downs, but mostly downs.  I tried everything to get myself out of the downward spiral, but failed miserably.  Nothing that was said made me feel right, no action was warm enough.  I felt as if I was being sucked into a black hole, and I was running the opposite direction.  I was losing this battle of staying strong even though every tear was dried up by a dog, every night was filled with an I love you and a good night, every morning was welcomed with a dog snoring next to me, and every freak out was followed by just relax, you are okay.

I didn't think I was okay.  I felt as hell was living inside of me.  I didn't understand this concept as I had many meetings previous to this, and I was nothing but motivated and determined to make the most of it.  Times change I would say.

Friday rolled around and a good friend of invited me over to her brother's house.  He had be deployed to Iraq and is now back home.  [Welcome back, Austin.  Glad you are home.  <3] I had not seen him for a while, but that there made me realize something.  Don't know what, but it made me realize something.

The next day, I returned a phone call from my friend Bryan.  I had not talked to him in awhile  -- Fall sometime.  When I was talking to him I felt like I was talking to a reflection of myself.  He told me some great news and I could of not been more proud of him.  As Monday rolled around he gave me greater news.  My wish for him came true.

From there on out, my cloudy days turned into sunshine and rainbows.  It is the greatest feeling to be surrounded by love and support.  And knowing it is genuine.


I feel so far behind on doing stuff for my art showing.  I thought about canceling it many times, but knew it wasn't fair to the parties involved.  Feeling not confident about it, I was on my way to Kent the other day and I got the greatest sign from someone special.

As I got off the exit, I looked up and there was a single red balloon circling in the sky.  I know who this was from --it was someone who was always there, who was one of my biggest fans even when we didn't get a long. I wasn't sure if I should cry or if I should smile.  So I did a little of both.  And I knew it was his way of saying, "Wuzzy, you can do it."  I looked up at the sky and said thanks and blew him a kiss. 

With the emotions aside, in the past few days I accomplished a lot for my big show.  But I never found my red leopard heels I need.  I got five frames at decent prices, some really good photos, frost bite and the determination to do this.  Who said this was painless?  :)


Special thanks to the following: Momma Unit, Ol' Aaron Moses, Maurice, Amber, Austin, and Bryan. 


Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!


So fathers, be good to your daughters / Daughters will love like you do / Girls become lovers who turn into mothers / So mothers, be good to your daughters too.  -John Mayer

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