Yup, I got that disease too.

P H O T O  O F  T H E  D A Y

APRIL 18, 2010

Hello Anxiety!  I would like you to please step out of my life for awhile.  You have done nothing positive in my life especially this past weekend.  

I know I am not the only one who gets anxiety from the littlest things.  The rainy weather for three straight days, my never ending pile of work, expenses that need to be paid, amongst other things are causing me to have more anxiety attacks than I have ever expereinced before.  

Over the weekend past, I found myself looking through my phone book and searching for drama.  I needed a sense of attention.  It's funny.  A friend brought it up and I thought about it -- I need attention every once in awhile.  Positive or negative, I will take it. 

After we talked about this, I knew I was not the only one out there who felt the same way too.  After I am sure a 100 or so text messages in a couple hours, I was still not fulfilled.  The attention was not there, which caused me to have more anxiety.  

As Sunday called it quits, she sent another text, be patient, it will happen.  As, I thought about it, it all made sense -- instant gratification.  Who would of thunk it?  Yes, I am a victim of this disease.  Whatever it is called, I have it. 

Whether it is shopping or sending a text message, kicking and screaming or drinking an adult beverage, it all routes from instant gratification.  It feels good at the moment and when it is all over it is back to reality.  Happiness doesn't come from all that shopping or texting you do, causing drama or over indulging in booze.  It helps right then and there, but when it wears off, where are you standing?

Think about it! You got to find happiness with in and not from others.  I am stating things I need to do for myself.  You can't go buy it, or drink it up, it's all about changing your way of thinking.  

 Find friends you can count on.  They will help you in the long run.  Everyone has the tough love friend, the shoulder to cry on friend, the instant gratification friend, the moral support friend, the gossip friend, the list goes on! Just find the friend or friends that mean the most in the times like these.  I did and they help you from making stupid decisions.

Remember, I can make ugly, pretty!

Lesley

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Tomorrow’s just a sip away / And California’s burst into flames / What is clear and what is insane / Seem to meet somewhere in your name / I’m a little distracted / Running with shadows / A little distracted / Living in windows - Zach